So Yeah

It isn’t even 4am and yet here I find myself having another episode…

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy. Life seems to be working itself out, well it looks like it is and things are starting to fall into place, well they feel like they are & this isn’t some cry for attention because to be honest, at the end of the day…I’m good. 

Lately I’ve caught myself sinking for multiple reasons, maybe it’s not even that deep but to me I can just feel myself wanting to cry but never doing it, I just cba.

I’ve been hearing, talking and catching myself watching things that relate to death lately and how you never know what people are going through & obviously I know this, we all know this. But either way I find myself pushing things to the side, I tell myself another day Quam, just call another day, ask them if they’re okay another day. Well what if another day doesn’t come? What then eh?

I have friends that I don’t talk to as much and that sucks. I have siblings that I don’t talk to about personal shit, don’t even feel like I can. I even have parents I don’t call as much when I’m away from home, I have friends that make everything look fine, I have a friend that is going through a rough time atm & I still tell myself another day. Or I call, let it ring two/three times then I hang up. I do that just so I can say I’ve done it, well tbh that sucks.

It’s me Quam, Q, Hak Gway, or what the hell you know me as. You know the guy that’s always in his feelings, always telling people how he feels about them or about things in general, you know the guy that’s most likely always preaching on snapchat. But even me, even I find it hard to reach out sometimes, so I guess this is reaching out.

I hope you’re all good, I know everything might seems stressful and long sometimes but keep holding on yeah, keep moving. Days come by when you feel like the world is against you and you can’t scream out for help, you have days when you just smile through the bullshit. We all do, doesn’t make it any easier tbh & we all know that but we all still go about our day like it’ll sort itself. Well it won’t and we all need to accept that. 

So yeah I guess this is me saying I know my flaws, we all should know ours and attempt to fix it and if you ever need anyone to talk to, you know where to find me if you’re a friend of mine and if you don’t, well you’re reading this right now aren’t you? So I guess you do know where to find me.

And also, make conversation with someone you haven’t in sometime, reach out. Don’t leave it waiting & even if it’s someone you don’t know that you feel could use a conversation, what could a few minutes of your day cost you?

God didn’t bring you this far to leave you.

Have a blessed day & week.

Hak Gway