First and foremost I want to give God all the glory because this wasn't by my power or might. Pouring into this blog wasn't easy, I was scared of people seeing me for who I truly am. Yesterday, I was trying to convince my wife that once upon a time women saw me as a… Continue reading Life Was iTunes, Millsberry & Sour Pops (10th Year Anniversary)
Author: Q Balogun
Growing Pains
You see I’ve been going through growing pains Man this shit is so insane You build a life and realise it’s all in vain Where is this leading? I hope it’s not to no avail Real eyes realise real lies The veil is lifting What is it revealing? If anyone had told me that this… Continue reading Growing Pains
Untitled
It’s dark And it’s wet All my sins I confess This path I tread Is filled with blessings and neglects Father Please dispatch your reserves For I Your son I’m in the need of that well To replenish my soul It’s bright And it’s moist All my virtues I wear This seed I’ve planted Will… Continue reading Untitled
Self-Doubt Is A B****!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! All I want to do is scream, pull my hair out and slap myself constantly because why the f*** did I ever let myself fall into this pit of self-doubt. I did not realise I was going through it at the time but now looking back I am so annoyed at myself. Maybe because… Continue reading Self-Doubt Is A B****!
What Do You Do It For?
After doing something for a considerable amount of time, you may begin asking yourself, what are you doing it for? The goal you started off wanting to attain, you smashed that. Now you are left wondering if it was worth it. What are you pursuing? What did you gain if you still feel the same?… Continue reading What Do You Do It For?
Soul Search – Does Anyone Understand?
Part 1 - 28/03/2017 How do you find your soul? Some find their soul through God & religion, some find it by looking inwards and trying to figure out what truly matters to them. Is the journey to finding your soul only an internal thing or does it involve everything that makes us who we… Continue reading Soul Search – Does Anyone Understand?
Extending Grace
Where do I begin Grace is defined by Cambridge dictionary as: a quality of moving in a smooth, relaxed, and attractive way the quality of being pleasantly polite, or a willingness to be fair and honest approval or kindness, especially (in the Christian religion) that is freely given by God to all humans From the definitions given by Cambridge dictionary, grace is auralike thing. It is a way people act and move and it is something that our creator has bestowed upon us… Continue reading Extending Grace
22/01/24
It’s crazy 16 years later The truth finally released Itself I finally let myself be seen To people across the globe I finally shared how that day really transpired Never thought this day would come Especially to people I have never met Oceans & it’s oceans that divide us & it’s a lot of water… Continue reading 22/01/24
09/01/24
I am what I feel I am what I go through I am my childhood These scripts & scenes created this actor This actor that is unable to play certain roles This actor that picks and chooses his scripts now I am now wiser I am what I feel But I don’t have to feel… Continue reading 09/01/24
Burn Again – 07/05/21
I had to let this fire burn again I’m up again I don’t wanna burn out I’ve been running through these streets tryna figure out a plan Cause it all gotta pan out See I took some time out It’s been blurry, I’ve been tired & I just didn’t know where I stand at But… Continue reading Burn Again – 07/05/21
Die To Be Reborn
This is less about rebranding yourself in the eyes of the public & more about rebranding yourself in the eyes of your self. This is about shedding away old skin, old habits, old comfort patterns, old ways of thinking & coming to terms that the ways of the old do not cut it no more.… Continue reading Die To Be Reborn
Pursuit of Happiness
Over the years, from a 9 year old to nearly turning 22 in a few weeks. There's something that has stood clear about me, that I can see and people that know me can see also. I don't like to be alone. The thing is, I am always alone. But I am not. From a… Continue reading Pursuit of Happiness
Lurking
Where I’m At (Day God Knows What) I am failing. Well I am not failing but I am currently losing to the other side of me. I started this growth, finding myself. Defeating my demons, whatever you want to call it phase in high spirits. I wrote for some days straight then it began to… Continue reading Lurking
Sun Goes Down
It has been a long time since I put pen to paperWhen the sun goes down And my casket has been lowered When my eulogy has been read Will you throw sand on me Will you visit and keep my resting place pretty Will you plant seeds around my grave I wonder When the time… Continue reading Sun Goes Down
Day 8 – No You Do Not Like Me
My answer to when people say they like me.This is how the conversation would typically go.. G - I like you M - Lol no you don’t, you just think you do G - wtf yes I do, why do you think I don’t? M - Well why do you like me? I find it… Continue reading Day 8 – No You Do Not Like Me
Day 5 – Communicating
I’m scarred I am scarred and I am only just noticing. It is of no surprise to me to that I am. I mean it has been at least 13 years of me growing, attempting to communicate with others, people I like. It ended with mostly rejections and ‘aww, any girl would lucky to have… Continue reading Day 5 – Communicating
Day 4 – Write The Eulogy You Would Love To Be Read At Your Funeral.
I’ve had this title in my notes for 7 months now so here goes...Quam Balogun, my loving husband grew to be the man he wished to become. It was never straightforward and he did not always have it together. There were days he cried, got angry, lashed out, ran, hid and abused those close to… Continue reading Day 4 – Write The Eulogy You Would Love To Be Read At Your Funeral.
Day 3 – Pursuit Of Me
The journey of finding myself. First thing, you never find yourself. You are always growing. Learning new things, liking new things thus you are always changing. But the journey to find and understand oneself is a trip we all set off on. Understanding oneself equates to an unmeasurable amount of happiness. Some find what they’re… Continue reading Day 3 – Pursuit Of Me
Day 2 – Impostor Syndrome
The itch when you feel like you don’t deserve/belong. Who am I? Who do people think I am? What do I wish to accomplish in this life? What do I want to be known for? Will I die happy & fulfilled? These are the questions that run through my mind nearly everyday if not everyday.… Continue reading Day 2 – Impostor Syndrome
Day One
Today is the 22nd of January and I have decided to embark on the journey of writing at least one piece of writing everyday till God knows when. Not every piece will be posted because quality will differ. I don’t know where to begin so I’ll start with where I am right now. I have… Continue reading Day One
False Idols
False idols, false role models, spot them and stop believing in them. A false idol/role model to me is an individual that claims to be perfect. Claims to do no wrong, claims to never have made mistakes, never to have succumbed to his or her temptations. Tries to paint this picture of an innocent, pure… Continue reading False Idols
An Ode To…?
I'm sorry it took so long for me to see you See you and understand I was meant to meet you You've always been around me I just never took you seriously Misused you Didn't care about the consequences of my actions You changed my life You truly did And this is me saying thank… Continue reading An Ode To…?
Socialism
Society is the cause of its own problem! This is a phrase you might have heard in the past but looking at this with insight should allow us explore contemporary socialism and its impact of on young adults. Firstly, you should be made aware that socialism is a double entendre but for this text, let… Continue reading Socialism
S.H.I.N.E
What is life to you? Do you truly feel alive? Who are you? Is this the path you dreamt of? Do you feel yourself drowning sometimes? It's okay Be honest Do you feel yourself trying to get past that brick wall but you can't? Who do you turn to? Who do you lean on? Do… Continue reading S.H.I.N.E
Francessca
It's over! All because of me. It is funny how we can destroy things or people important to us. Selfishness. We can be so selfish and feel sorry later. If only I thought about it earlier. Now we are both hurt and crying but you don't wanna know anymore. Funny how the tables turn, when… Continue reading Francessca
So Yeah
It isn't even 4am and yet here I find myself having another episode... Don't get me wrong, I'm happy. Life seems to be working itself out, well it looks like it is and things are starting to fall into place, well they feel like they are & this isn't some cry for attention because to… Continue reading So Yeah
Just Needed to Release This…
I was rolling around & in my mind it occurred What if you came back Your soul lost in the dark ends of nowhere Mum always said you would come back One day That one of us is gonna give birth to you With that same mark in that same place & you shall be… Continue reading Just Needed to Release This…
The Road Less Traveled
Everyone is on a journey to reach a certain destination. To reach self-actualisation, the pinnacle. Our idea of self-actualisation differs. It differs because we are all different people but it tends to have similarities. The journey to reach such a place is one that is often discussed. Some people think there's a certain route to… Continue reading The Road Less Traveled
Self Destructive
Someone very close and special to me recently said to me that it seems I'm on a self destructive path. I'm on the path of trying to rid every good thing in my life or potential good thing and it made me realise, yes. I am a self destructive person. The reason behind this? I… Continue reading Self Destructive
Worth
Validation Something everyone yearns for. Whether if it's from the world or the circle you've surrounded yourself with. At a time in our life, we all yearn for someone to recognise us and give us recognition. So what if you mean the world to the world and not the people you care about? Also if… Continue reading Worth
Untitled
If you peeled my soul Went searching deep inside If you go hitchhiking through these deep forests Hoping to find some sort of revelation Some sort of answer As to why I am what I am I'm sorry to say It isn't like that If you wish to open up my wardrobe Stare at my… Continue reading Untitled
‘How Many Likes Do You Get On Insta?’
Does the amount of likes or attention you receive on social media make you feel like you're better than the next person? Do you let social media control how high your self esteem/confidence is? Do you only exist on the web and go missing in reality? Social media has become a way of life and… Continue reading ‘How Many Likes Do You Get On Insta?’
The Race
'Everything is connected. The world will take me where I need to go. I am a leaf in the stream of creation' - Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency. My Race I am a big believer in destiny. We all have a reason for being alive, we all have a purpose. That is why the earlier… Continue reading The Race
Growth After Relationships
I didn't plan to write until I saw a picture on a piece that I read on Medium, titled 'Love is Change' by Demetra Gregorakis. The piece is irrelevant, it's the picture that spoke to me. The 'you've changed' conversation after relationships occurs a lot and the person on the receiving end of it tends… Continue reading Growth After Relationships
Friend V2
I am the person you'll know last I am the person that never says hi first I am the person that's the most awkward I am the person that takes the last seat I am not the most open person If you're new within my circle It is me you'll know last But it's me… Continue reading Friend V2
A Letter To Cudi
I don't know you, I don't know what you're going through, I don't know the demons you've faced but through your music I know that you're one of the strongest individuals I've ever known or heard of. I first heard you in 2009, I heard 'Day n Nite' and at first I didn't like it.… Continue reading A Letter To Cudi
I Should…
I should probably write more I should probably try harder I should probably promote more I should probably spread the word more I should probably buckle up I should probably wake up Wake up and look at this shit at face value I should probably realise this could be mine But I'm too busy passing… Continue reading I Should…
I Wish… V3
I wish I didn't feel so much I wish I didn't say so much I wish I could turn it off But if I could, would I? I know I'm emotional I feel too much I know my words never stop I know I should keep quiet more often But I can't I know you're… Continue reading I Wish… V3
Trust
Oh the Bane of my life. 'Trust is a choice to be available, vulnerable and transparent in a relationship, because the person you’re trusting has proven worthy of your partnership through consistency in their honesty, integrity and dependability.' - Six Seeds I never figured out how to achieve this, it is something that messes with… Continue reading Trust
“It’s Not That Deep”
You know that statement that whenever you hear it, it sends you overboard and leaves you feeling a level of anger you did not think was possible? Well that is what "it's not that deep" is to me right now, also "it's a minor". I had someone in my life that always used to complain… Continue reading “It’s Not That Deep”
Gossiping
I went to a church on the 2nd of October and I loved the sermon that the Pastor preached, it was about gossiping and the seven things that God hates. I won't get into it that much but he said that God hates 7 things and 5 has links with gossiping. Gossip is defined as… Continue reading Gossiping
Chasing Status
Human beings always want to be the top dog, the center of attention, the one that everyone wants to be like. In order to attain this status we have applied some techniques that have made human beings as a whole worse off. Social media has aided this immense need of attention by making us, for… Continue reading Chasing Status
When Did You Forget To Fly? V2
One of my favourite artists once said ‘spread your wings’ a quote I have been trying my hardest to live by since the first time I heard it, but it is hard sometimes. Then Chance The Rapper came out with Colouring Book and said "when did you forget to fly". I never really took it… Continue reading When Did You Forget To Fly? V2
Untitled
I know you were taught that showing feelings is a sign of weakness That to bare all, meant losing your sense of pride Making you less of a man To shed a tear for what you have lost Or to show you are scared to lose it at all Renders you feeble and inadequate They… Continue reading Untitled
The One Year Anniversary Letter
Dear Readers/Friends I don't know where to begin, it has been such a whirlwind adventure from writing regularly and posting to losing my mind and not posting but I made it. We made it! I remember when I was 16 and I started writing, just to get my anger out and have some sort of… Continue reading The One Year Anniversary Letter
…
Life is full of stress In this country of mess Hard-press making people depress The way we live can't make us contest with the best So we settle for less Seed
Same Drugs
And we don't do the same drugs no more You were the captain I boarded the ship You were the dealer I bought from you You had control And you knew it You ran back when you needed my currency You ran back when you need a crew member Then I woke up I saw… Continue reading Same Drugs
Letter To My Unborn Child
I wonder the day I'll see you The day I'll carry you in my arms The day my life will have meaning I can't wait to see you Give you the world Give you everything I couldn't have I'll have to find someone worthy Worthy of bringing you into this world And the way things… Continue reading Letter To My Unborn Child
Perception
Last Friday, fresh off a Mac Miller concert. I got home and got ready for the monthly last Friday Tajud (Muslim night vigil) that I usually attend. I always leave the place with something new, sometimes it could just be a realisation of something I know but then somehow begin to see it from a… Continue reading Perception
Happiness
I would say happiness is accepting oneself, finding something or someone that makes you feel happy and wanted. I previously mentioned on this blog that I am fully happy when I am alone in my room with some music on or in total silence. I am not an anti social person, I really just enjoy… Continue reading Happiness
Love
"People often confuse infatuation with being in love. Infatuation is mostly just based on desire, lust and admiration. You may believe you have strong feelings for someone, but you might just be admiring more of the superficial characteristics about him or her." - Elite Daily. What is love?I really do not know, all I know is… Continue reading Love
Death
This post is long overdue, it's a topic I love and a topic I have been wanting to write about for ages but the timing has always been off so here goes.Death and love are undoubtedly the two things I have thought about the most, we will get to love another day. The idea of… Continue reading Death
Enlightenment?
This post is different from the rest & quite similar to 'The Cost Of A Pound'. It's an idea, a theory if you like about life and what could mean what. The story of Adam & Eve is one most people know about, if not everyone but to summarise; Adam & Eve were the first… Continue reading Enlightenment?
The Act Of Being Shameless
Happy New Year!Shamelessness is seen as a negative trait in people, it is labelled as embarrassing and awkward but to hell with that. Being confident is defined as 'having strong belief or full assurance', 'sure of oneself; having no uncertainty about one's own abilities'. Shameless on the other hand is defined as 'not ashamed, especially… Continue reading The Act Of Being Shameless
New Year’s Resolution
Year after year I see people declare a new different new year resolution and how they are going to conquer and own the year, it's the same old but I am also guilty of such, not so much with having resolutions, just with thinking every year is my year and if you know me, I… Continue reading New Year’s Resolution
Identity Change
As it's the new year, I thought I should let you all know me a bit better. It's not a big deal but I thought it fits with the two other posts from today.My first name is Kwam, I am not Ghanaian lol. Kwamdeen is actually the full name but let's go with Kwam. If… Continue reading Identity Change
Sorry For The Wait (New Year)
The past two weeks have been a distraction but a good distraction. Those two weeks was when my year was rounded up and I saw how far I have come in 2015 and how amazing, kind and blessed it has been to me. Sorry for the wait. I go into the new year with… Continue reading Sorry For The Wait (New Year)
Tick Tock
Tick tock Tick tock The clock goes My life passes by as I stare at this exam question Trying to see what I should do with it but my mind is jumbled up Tick tock Tick tock The clock goes As I stare at this problem without a solution My life passes by as the… Continue reading Tick Tock
Time
Back to the tick tock, the clock scares me, time scares me You don't use it wisely & you'll fall & crumble It goes fast, it goes slow... Time is something you can never control It could run out today, it could run out tomorrow You never know Tick tock Tick tock As this exam… Continue reading Time
Rain
Do you ever feel like rain is just not rain? Do you ever feel like it represents more, like do you ever look at it and think hm? To me, it means so much more than just a change in weather and water pouring down.Rain is very symbolic to me, I view it as a… Continue reading Rain
MyIntent Project Replies
A couple of explanations that I have gathered from people that I really like about the MyIntent Project. Banathi: My word would be 'Voice'. Voice is another word for speaker, to be able to speak for those who are too scared to speak or those who are silenced. I say this because of the corruption… Continue reading MyIntent Project Replies
MyIntent Project
I was recently told about this new craze if you may, among celebrities and influential leaders from one of my friends (Faruk Abiru). I fell in love with it straight away and ordered one because it appeals and speaks to everything I love about uplifting oneself, sparking conversations and it does it in such a… Continue reading MyIntent Project
Soulmates
Linking in with the 'Belief' post that was posted last Thursday, today's topic is Soulmates. I mentioned being a believer in predestined stories/life paths and that every decision we make and every step we take has already been written in stone. I believe we all have a destined life partner, someone that is a very… Continue reading Soulmates
Why Quam?
Why do you have a blog Quam? Why did you even start it Quam? What makes you think people even care Quam? What makes you think people even read it Quam? What makes you think people do not laugh at you Quam? Why do you think you are dope Quam? What do you expect to… Continue reading Why Quam?
Sunday Special
I feel so alive this year, I feel on top of the world. Currently writing this with Jay Z playing in my earphones and you really cannot understand what Jay does to me, by far the greatest ever to do it! Lets go back to me being happy, this year has been a whirlwind but… Continue reading Sunday Special
Belief
This is not your typical I was lost and now I am found through God post. I am not against those and I am happy for everyone that have found themselves because of a spiritual journey but the other side of the story never gets told does it? I am Nigerian and if you ask… Continue reading Belief
What Keeps You Alive?
"I'll tell you what I don't believe in, can I do that? Alright, I don't believe in laws, or the system by any means, whatsoever. I try not to obey them at anytime. That's what I believe in not believing it." "So what keeps you alive?" "Four big bottles of water a day, two packs… Continue reading What Keeps You Alive?
A Prayer For My Mother
I find it very difficult to speak to people and express how I feel. I might end up telling you but it will be months later when the hope of something real might have diminished. My queen, my backbone I talk about saviours and leaving a legacy You have been the most persistent saviour in… Continue reading A Prayer For My Mother
Is Hopelessness Attractive?
"Jerry: Oh so there's still hope? George: I don't want hope, hope is killing me. My dream is to become hopeless. When you're hopeless you don't care, and when you don't care, that indifference, it makes you attractive." A quote from the US sitcom "Seinfeld". Is hopelessness attractive? First off what is hope? Hope is… Continue reading Is Hopelessness Attractive?
Legacy – My Biggest & Only Fear
Legacy is what you leave behind for the living to remember you by. Once your time is up, when your ticket number has been called in and you have been recruited by the reaper, what will you have done to be remembered? Will it be your riches, your presence or will it be what you… Continue reading Legacy – My Biggest & Only Fear
Superstitions/Dreams
Dreams Dreams are seen as a communication technique from an higher place to you by some people. Some people claim they dream about the future and therefore are expecting situations to arise while some people always turn a blind eye to whatever occurs in their dreams and put it to the side. I do not… Continue reading Superstitions/Dreams
The Life
The life of a boy The life of a son The life of a brother The life of a student The life of a role model The life of a failure The life of an achiever The life of sadness The life of happiness The life of mistakes The life of accomplishments The life of… Continue reading The Life
Achieving Targets
Following on from the previous post about Favours. How do we go about achieving our targets? How do we even set our targets or know what the target should be? Passion for whatever you do is key to succeeding, I am a firm believer of this. I find it very hard myself to set and… Continue reading Achieving Targets
Patience
They say patience is a virtue But I'm finding it a little hard They say I'll get what I deserve But I'm slowly falling apart It's not that I'm scared But more broken What if no one picks me? What if I'm not chosen What if my edges are just too rough What if my… Continue reading Patience
Favour
Favours and blessings are something that we sometimes come across as we go about our day. The littlest things can mean the world to us, someone stopping the bus for you as you are about to miss it and be late for work is a blessing. It is never too small, they might have different… Continue reading Favour
Confidence By King Los
A song I would advice you listen to.Confidence by King LosIt ain't selfish, to love yo self more Cause if you loved you moreMaybe you could love a few more Open up a new door When you feel worthless Upgrade yo work list To work on yo self more And find what yo worth is Everybody on this earth is imperfect Cast judgement… Continue reading Confidence By King Los
What Makes A Saviour & Who Is A Saviour
"All my homies philosophers . Yea, all my homies philosophers . Now I don't need nobody, I would love somebody though . Don't you ever get it messed up . Everybody wanna be God , beside God, he wanna be like us" raps Mac Miller on his track "Inside Outside" and also the whole of the amazing project by Raury… Continue reading What Makes A Saviour & Who Is A Saviour
Myself In Others
I am used to thinking people that occupy this world are extras to my story. On a cold Tuesday morning as go about my day on a crowded bus headed to the city centre, I sit and look around at the people who occupy this 06:29 journey. I realise we are all not that different.… Continue reading Myself In Others
Are You Okay?
The daily question we ask, the daily question we get asked, the question we never really answer. I feel like the question does not get enough thought and process it deserves or maybe I am just "deep". We are so quick to say yes I am good, I am okay or whatever answer we have… Continue reading Are You Okay?
The Cost Of A Pound
I had thought long and hard about how to start this blog, what to write about first, what points to touch on, whether I should do it or not. Life is a challenge and attempting to win against the odds may leave you as the odd one out. We all aspire to be happy but… Continue reading The Cost Of A Pound
Letter To My Past Encounters
I never appreciate things/people when it is a part of my present. I always tend to look back and think oh shit that was the piece that sparked this part of me and then I begin to feel this pit of sadness growing but I love that I can say yeah I fucked with this… Continue reading Letter To My Past Encounters
Planting Of The Seed
This is a blog to allow me to extract my thoughts and theories and hopefully it will reach someone that will learn and take from it to benefit them. I have been a lover of writing for many many years but never really took it seriously so now I am planting the seed of attempting… Continue reading Planting Of The Seed
POTS 