I turned out better than I ever expected, it’s funny how all the things that seemed big to me growing up didn’t amount to much now that I’m older.
The things I thought meant the end of the world & made my world spiral as a youth, I look back now and think why did I ever exaggerate the importance of that?
Hindsight is a beautiful thing.
I had no idea where life was leading. Don’t get me wrong, trauma is real, pain is real and PTSD certainly lingers but we spend far too much time during our lives fixated on the past and present that we can’t see it ever getting any better, we fail to see the bigger picture.
I read pieces that I once wrote and try to take my mind back to how I felt during those times. Those heightened emotions that pushed me to dark places and it almost makes me laugh.
Those heightened emotions did lead me to start this blog and pour out parts of me that I would never have spoken about so I guess it was all worth it.
The way I see it now is if I get to live till 100 years of age then why would I let these fleeting emotions make me think my world is falling apart when I’m only 30 years old? There is so much more to see, more to experience, more people to meet, more life to live.
If only I knew that when leaving London for Manchester, if only I knew that when relationships ended, if only I knew that when my grades didn’t meet up, if only.
I miss my brother, I miss my old friends but I don’t miss the life I lived. This life I’m living now, I hope I don’t miss it because all things considered I know this version of me isn’t the final one, I know people come and go, I know emotions are fleeting, I know life and death are simple formalities and I know life still has so much more in store.
Hatch & Purify š±
Q Balogun
POTS 