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Where I’m At (Day God Knows What)

I am failing.

Well I am not failing but I am currently losing to the other side of me. I started this growth, finding myself. Defeating my demons, whatever you want to call it phase in high spirits. I wrote for some days straight then it began to slow down. I began to get comfortable and it slowly creeped up on me and overtook me.

When running a 400 meters race, it is the second 200 meters that really counts. I mean if you have the stamina to run the whole race in full speed then I guess fly away. But the trick is to pace yourself in the first half then unleash your full capability in the second half.

You have to watch out for your surroundings and go faster as it is required of you. Sometimes you will run the first half in your fastest speed. You will get comfortable in the second half cause you are tired and you think you have won. But you might just end up losing. Losing cause there is someone lurking behind you. Waiting and waiting for you to show that slight weakness and they shall pounce on you.

That is what has happened to me. I got comfortable, got complacent. I thought I had a good hold of my demons cause well it was weak for a couple of days and I thought oh this is a victory for me. Never did I know that it was preying. Watching, taking its time, playing the long game, waiting for me to adjust my pedestal and fix my cushion.

Well now I am currently losing but that is fine. It is fine to get things wrong. Fine to lose track, fine to think you have won. You just have to learn from your mistakes and make sure it never happens again.

It is a marathon, it is never a sprint.

And you have your whole life to run this race. Your whole life to pace yourself. Your deadline might be next year but you do not always achieve what you want when you want. Your deadline is the day you are on your death bed. So pace yourself and make sure you are always aware of your surroundings.

I shall be fine.

You shall be fine.